As I sit here tonight, I find myself, once again, staring at my toes. It is something I have been doing a lot lately. No, I don’t have a foot fetish, nor do I even really like my feet. But they demand my attention again. Both big toes are all-natural. Not because I haven’t painted them, simply because all the nail-polish that once was there has chipped off. The right foot has three partially painted pink toes; the left, two…. And somehow my pinky toe has managed to stay intact with full polish! I intend to paint them tonight…. Just as I have intended to paint them every night when I feed my son, then forget the moment I lay him down and collapse into bed. I intended to paint them for Easter…. But that didn’t happen either- I was too busy dressing my family and making us presentable to worry about toe-nail polish. I actually sat down with clippers and polish last week, but I believe the mound of laundry in my living room stole my attention that night.

So many things in my life are on my “intend to” list. I desire to accomplish so much, yet in reality, very little gets done. I pride myself on not being a procrastinator, and still do not consider myself one. It’s not that I put it off, it’s that it never gets put on the “have to do now” list!

It’s been over a week since I last blogged. I miss it! It’s not that I don’t want to blog, or lack the material for posts. In fact, I think I have at least three drafts of saved posts started from the past week.

I have a partially finished wet bag next to my sewing machine that has been there for 5 days now. I intended to finish it Friday, but then my needle broke. As I went to replace it, I learned that it was my LAST needle. I got the needles yesterday, finished one of the bags during naptime Tuesday, then the circus awoke and sewing once again became impossible.

This is not at all how I like to live life- I am a super-OCD person. I love things neatly organized and put away. I love my house to be clean always, home cooked meals at least 5 days a week, and a plan in place for most things. But if I feel like God is showing me anything through our surprise #3, it’s to let go of some things.

I am NOT superwoman, have never claimed to be (though occasionally I take on the workload). Slowly, but surely, the extras are slipping away. With three children in very demanding ages, sometimes the laundry doesn’t get put away right away. Sometimes, (ok most times) the dishes are left in the sink overnight. Sometimes, it’s more than a couple of days between vacuuming. Sometimes, it’s over a week before I get to blog. And I’m ok with that.

Because today, my daughter and I sang together while she was taking a bath. A song I didn’t even know she knew, that she burst out singing. Yesterday, my 3 month old reached for a toy for the first time, and I watched that take place. He now giggles regularly and watches my every move. Tonight, my son would not allow me to put him down because he spent the day with his Mammy and missed Mommy so much. Next week, he may never let me hold him again. My daughter will soon be taking showers by herself and we won’t have that one-on-one time after the boys go to bed. My three month old, he will soon be crawling, and then walking….

This time is so precious. I realize more and more that priorities are so important. So daily, my to-do list grows. At first, I was overwhelmed by it. But now, I’m beginning to accept it. My kids could care less about the laundry and the dishes. They just want me to push them on the swing one more time.

I was talking with a friend tonight about priorities in raising children. She was observing another family and the way they function. The things she admired and the things she would change were brought up. It got me thinking about what was really important to me. I want my children to be happy, yes. I also desire for them to be polite and kind. I desire for them to be smart and make friends easily. What I value, my children will value. Parents prioritize different things. I pray my priorities are not only what I want my kids to prioritize, but what God values as well. I pray my life reflects what I value. Not just physically, but mentally and spiritually.

So today, I’m letting go of the desire to stay up and clean the bathroom before bed. I am going to crawl under the covers and sleep so that tomorrow I can get up and enjoy the day with my little miracles. I hope to check off some things on my list, but if I don’t…. That’s ok too. But I really DO need to paint these toes!

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