Five

Five.
My baby girl is five.
A whole hand.
Halfway to ten.
Five years old.

I cannot believe it has been five years since I received the single most amazing gift in life besides my husband.
Motherhood. Something I dreamt about, longed for, and imagined day after day.
I was one of those “weird” kids that when asked what they wanted to be when they grow up, answered with all the confidence of a future doctor or lawyer “I want to be a mom.” It was a desire that was placed inside of me before I can ever remember. It went beyond the childhood “when I’M a mom….” Thoughts. It was a basic necessity for me. I had to be a mom.
January 17th 2008 all my dreams became reality. She burst into this world at 10:50am following 19 hours of labor. She was not breathing. No sound. No cry like the movies. Just rushed midwives rushing to her side. After what seemed like hours and me asking a million times if she was ok, I heard it. The most beautiful sound my ears have ever experienced. She cried. Soft and high, but full of strength and determination. She wasn’t ok, she was more than that. She was utterly perfect and everything I had ever dreamed she would be.
She made me a Mom.
Her every movement was my focus, her cries- my cues, her needs- my responsibility and her beauty – my pride.
I still have nothing in my life that compares to being a mother. The dream has become my reality, a reality I adore. I have my bad days- more than I would care to admit. But above all, I am blessed. Blessed beyond my wildest dreams. I now have three healthy happy children who proudly declare me their Mommy and one blossoming in my womb.
My baby girl is such a gift to me. At five, she is responsible, kind, loving, ferocious, imaginative, full of energy, sweet, and bubbling with life. She is constantly both learning and teaching me things about life. She loves her Daddy, My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, her brothers, the color pink, la la loopsy, her family, her church, her school and learning.
These last five years have flown by and I miss that tiny little bald girl with the toothless open-mouthed grin. But there are days I still see her in there. She is still so small with so much to learn- and I can’t wait to stand by her side and watch what she becomes.
Today, I am proud to be her Mother. I am privileged to raise a child of the King and desire to teach her his words and ways.
To my Princess – Addisyn Aaliyah Wagner, Mommy loves you most and I am so very proud of the young lady you have become!