Tonight was the culmination of a long awaited dream. Have you ever wanted something so bad, it hurt? Have you ever dreamt a dream that you wish you could return to upon opening your eyes? Have you ever believed God have you a dream and then doubted yourself for thinking it could be coming true?

Ezryi means God is my help. Jane is defined as God is Gracious. Tonight, and every night, God is my gracious help. He is overwhelming in His blessings and generous with his favor. He is my everything. Regardless of what I have, or have yet to receive he is worthy of my every breath.

Tonight, I was reminded that “His eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:16 NIV)

In September of 2012, we had a feeling we might be expecting another baby. We were a little thrown off- we had been hoping to wait until at least November before we talked about another child. My husband had one thought “what would we name it?” Laying in bed that night, he spoke the name for the first time. Ezryi. I immediately loved it. My phone was then whipped out to find out the meaning of this name- what I always do when contemplating the thing my child will be called for their entire lifespan. Ezryi meant God is my help. And in that moment I knew- this would be our next child’s name.

Time came to tell us that we were not expecting another child and relief flooded our hearts. Gods timing had been our timing after all! September passed and we occasionally would mention the name in the following months, but the thought was just that- a passing thing that we didn’t dwell on.
December 10th, 2012 – two pink lines changed the course of our lives once again. A baby was coming and right away we decided this was Ezryi – IF it was a girl. Names for a boy were thrown around, but nothing stuck or appealed to us both. This pregnancy was so different. It has been so easy and full of hope. God has given me- given us- the help we needed to have a fruitful, joyous pregnancy so far.

Late night talks continued of dreams of this child’s life- what he or she would be like, who they would take after, what traits this child would carry. But mostly names- Ezryi was a given, but we still needed a middle name. After dozens of rejections, my husband once again suggested a beautiful name – Jane. Immediately tears streamed down my face knowing what this name meant to me- to us. As I choked back tears, I whispered, Ezryi Jane. It was beautiful and perfect- for all it encompassed.

I wrote a post in August of last year about a dear friend of our family’s who passed away. Doris Jane Lipsey was an adopted grandma to my kids and just about the sweetest lady one could ever meet. Steadfast in her love for her children, grandchildren and most of all her God. She went by Jane and all who knew her associated her with kindness and wisdom. I was privileged to stand by her bedside the night she went to live in Glory with her King. We sang, worshiped God, told stories of who she was to each of us and relished in the privilege of knowing a woman of such character. I will never forget that night.

This August, she will have a namesake. Ezryi Jane Wagner will be born with a name that is fitting the blessing she brings to our family. She will be the reminder of what a gracious help our God is. I cannot wait to meet this little girl. And I thank everyone who was able to celebrate with us tonight as we discovered that she was what we thought all along- a SHE! 🙂 I am looking forward to posting all the wonderful pictures and memories from tonight’s party. But for now, I am going to sleep. And dream. Dream of the little girl that will one day emerge from my dreams and I will hold in my arms. Thank you God for being my gracious help.