You are my sunshine
My only sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
Oh don’t you know dear
How much I love you
Please don’t take my sunshine away

It’s been four months and two days and every day I think of you. I sang this song to my sweet baby girl tonight. The baby girl that I thought you would get to experience with me. I’ve wanted so badly to raise my children near you – one of the first things I was excited about when I found out her little life was growing inside of me last year. I thought you would hold her and help me sing to her. I thought we would stare at her and take turns finding her features in other members of our family. I thought I would be able to ask you when Jade was a baby, did you rock her to sleep or lay her down in bed drowsy. I never thought that my now 12 week old would never get to meet you. I never imagined that I would be the one singing this song.

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My heart aches for your presence here. It’s the little things that sting so much. Like how I can’t eat a French fry without thinking of you. Or run 10 feet without knowing I never would have begun running without you. Or make macaroni and cheese without reliving the first time you showed me how to make it the “good” way.
Your babies miss you so much. Jacob calls to talk often. We sit and just remember. Remember your voice, your mannerisms, your laugh, your words and your life. You are such a daily part of everything we do.
I wish we had had more time. I wish you were here to give me your famous cheesecake recipe. I wish you could tell Jacob how proud you are of him being in college and what a wonderful young man he is. I wish you were here to see Jade and how beautiful and whitty and talented and kind she is. I wish you were here to help her grow up.
I miss you so much. But then I am reminded that you are in complete peace, complete joy and utter bliss. I pray we speak of you often, even when it brings tears. This month will not be easy- but we will honor you and your memory.
I love you Angela Marie Sarracino.

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