1. I am Emotional. 
There’s nothing like leaving your friends and family and everything you’ve ever known in your adult life to instantly make you into a crier. I cry. Like every day. Over good things and bad things. Example: Realizing that my son left his backpack at home. Then realizing I can take it to him with no problem because I don’t have to rush to work or be at an appointment. I have the luxury of staying at home now. This IS my job, so I cry, because I CAN go get his backpack. 

Example #2: Making dinner like usual. Serve dinner like usual. Only 6 people at my table, instead of the 8-10 we would normally have on any given night at the Wagners. Box up half the dinner for leftovers. Cry. Rewrite every recipe I have to make 1/2 of what it normally did.

Apparently, emotions evoke tears in any situation now. So, if I cry, it’s not you, it’s totally me. I’ll be ok. And I am now singlehandedly guaranteed success to the waterproof mascara industry. 

2. I am not as confident as I thought I was. 

In Texas, I was usually I charge of things. I plan, I lead, I execute. Not trying to toot my horn, but that was my responsibility for the past…uh, I can’t even remember how long. And I love it. I love the responsibility and even the stress. I like being the one people come to. I like being “known” in my little corner of the world. I function well “in charge”. 

Fast forward to walking into everything unknown, all the time, in all the places, in every single way. Even down to the grocery store that I now shop at. 

It tends to strip one of confidence – okay, maybe not everyone, but most definitely  Me. It has made me question things I didn’t normally question. Is my makeup okay, is this dress to short/long/ no sleeves/long sleeves?  Am I presenting myself well? Should I speak loud or soft? What do I say? Or do I say anything at all?  Who am I really? I should be quieter/louder/funnier/more serious/stoic/bubbly. Sigh. Yeah- I might be second guessing everything. But at least I can try again the next time with something differently new. Lol

3. I AM a Fun Mom. 

Seriously y’all. There for a while I questioned if Fun Mom was still in there. I got so used to running All of The Things All of The Time, that I simply ran my household. I didn’t “have time” to have fun, or laugh at spilled milk because for goodness sake were going to be late for SOMETHING. 

I have realized that my babies ARE who bring out the fun in me- if I slow down long enough to notice. Chalk on the sidewalk, board games on the floor, movie nights with popcorn and cookies, going out for milkshakes after bedtime. We have broken all of the rules because we simply can right now. And I am loving that. Those four lives- they’re the reason we did all this to begin with. And I can’t regret a single iota of it. 

4. Things are just things and most I don’t “need”. 

We moved into an apartment here because we didn’t have the time to house shop from 15 hours away. 

Apartments are tiny.

My family is not.

I don’t really feel the need to elaborate on that one. 

Suffice to say, the accommodations have been…. Adequate but Trying.

It’s 16 days and 8 hours until we move into our new house in case anyone was wondering. 

But in the smaller accommodations, we have downsized a lot. And that is not a bad thing. At the end of the day, if he kids are asleep and well fed, it’s a win. 


5. I have excellent hearing.

I would like to refer to the previous statement that we are currently living in an apartment. That shares walls with others. 

I am tired. 

And looking forward to walls that don’t share with others. 

I may also be slightly selfish. We will work on that one later…. 

6. I am stronger than I thought I was. 

There’s nothing like holding your baby girl as she sobs about missing her school, best friend, church, neighborhood, etc…. and telling her it will all be okay while you feel eerily similar. This is the part where I get to remind my daughter (or simply myself) that we want to be in the center of God’s Will. Why? Because it’s always the best. Always. It may not be comfortable or easy or fun. But it’s the only place I want to be. I remind her that we prayed and prayed about this. That God has a plan and I trust that more than I do my feelings. That someday she will understand that, but even now she is learning and growing because of this experience. And all the while, I am speaking those words to my heart as well. 

7. I am grateful.

I am grateful for this opportunity for my husband. I am grateful that I get to spend my time with my kids. I am grateful for change and new. I am grateful for the ability to push myself beyond comfort zones and learn things in never would have had I stayed. I am grateful for a break. For time to do nothing. And everything that I’ve been wanting to do. For books read and miles driven and lessons learned that would have never been possible had Familiar remained home. 

I’m sure these are just the beginning of what I will learn during this time. But it feels good just to get these down in writing. One more thing to be grateful for- time to write.

What have you learned lately? What are you grateful for today?