So many many many Big Emotions fill this day that my mind won’t sleep. I awoke to the words Thy. Will. Be. Done.resounding in my heart and mind today. Such a blessing to know that the comfort of the Lord comes even in the midst of slumber. 
Three years. It’s been three years since I got the call that changed everything. My sister was called home to be with our Lord and Savior. I still remember that phone call like it was this morning. I also remember waking up in the middle of the night and just knowing, knowing she was no longer here. 

I have felt the presence of the Lord many times, but that time will never fade from my memory.

Today, I lay in my big beautiful home so excited to move fully in. But it’s also a day of reflection. Of remembrance. 

It’s a day that reminds me that I know nothing but that’s okay because He, He knows everything and I am His. I am held by His hands. I am loved by His heart. I belong to Him. Not only that but His hand cups itself underneath my cheek and catches every tear that falls.

“Who has measured the waters in the hollow of His hand, Measured heaven with a span And calculated the dust of the earth in a measure? Weighed the mountains in scales And the hills in a balance?”‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40:12‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

He has not left me alone. He has not left any of us alone. 

Though my heart aches and I do not understand why my niece and nephews have to endure this, I know, my God is Good. He is Good. It’s not merely a part of Him, it is Who He Is. You can not have God without Good. He’s not capable of lying or deceiving. His qualities are intrinsic to who He is. There is no separating God and Good. 

Because of this, I trust. Because of this, though my heart is heavy and the tears will fall, there is Hope. Because He IS Hope! He is hope not just for tomorrow. Not just for the future, but He is Hope right here in the midst of Sorrow and Pain and Questions and Hurt and Messy. He shines his hope into our doubt and though the questions may never be answered, His Grace speaks louder than any doubt ever could.

So today, I invite the God of Peace, the God of Hope, the God of Joy to cover me with all those things. 

I celebrate my sisters third year in heaven. I can’t even imagine what she’s doing today. I know it has something to do with dancing and singing. That voice has got to be praising the Savior in ways I’ve never heard. And I doubt those legs have stopped dancing in the three years she’s been there!

It’s slightly fitting to me that today would be moving day. Change upon change upon change has been the theme for 2016. My Lord has pushed me beyond my comfort zone and taught me reliance on Him like I never have had before. And oh how grateful I am for that. It causes lots of tears, lots of questions, and a ton of prayer “conversations” (others might say complaints, but this is my blog) with Him. Things that would have never come about had we stayed in the Comfortable.

Today is a day of new beginnings, of renewed hope and of undying trust in my Maker. 

Today I will remember. I will remember Angie’s heart, her desire to love people. Her desire to care for those that were hers, and many times those that were not. Today I will see the world differently. Because of her. And in the words of the song “I will carry you with me until I see you again.” 

Angela Marie Deemy Sarracino, Happy 3rd Birthday in Glory.  

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